I have always missed out on the funnest shit because I've been sick.
Parties, field trips, concerts, swim meets, sleepovers, hanukkah, christmas, the 8th grade disneyland trip, physics day, field day, MY OWN BIRTHDAY.
I even got to stay home sick when I was homeschooled.
and I have seen every episode of the Price is Right.
Just take a minute to think about how often you use your cell phone. So much more often than you think. What else do you have that you take with you every where you go? Its always on-hand.
After going through 7 or 8 phones in a single year I've gained an insight into this profound dependency we have on our phones. Explore a couple of the conundrums in which I found myself during the dark periods...
For the love of god, what time is it. Someone tell me. Who wears a watch? How do people know what time it is without a phone? Especially in the winter, when the sun goes down at 4 p.m. and the senior citizens flocking to the buffet at Arizona Charlies feel like they're eating dinner at a normal hour, it's not easy to read the sky. I didn't even know people actually used watches to tell time until my phone broke. I just thought they were there to look flashy and establish some kind of hierarchy among CEOs and rappers.
And do people still buy alarm clocks? I was under the impression that those were a thing of the past. How do people wake up in the morning? My only decent idea was to set an online alarm, which failed miserably almost every time. You don't think about these things until they slap you in the face. Kind of like the Law.
WHICH brings me to the meat.
Chris Hansen (Dateline) is, quite probably, the ultimate sexual predator. He has to be. He is trusted by EVERYONE. He is the face of justice in that department; their Covergirl. Even I trust that guy.
But I don't trust that guy.
It makes too much sense that he created his whole show just to ensure his own security. That man is a sociopath.
But as much as I love that show, I can't help but focus on the deeper issue.
The fact that "we the people" have had to constitute and enforce laws prohibiting the solicitation of sex from a minor, AKA a 13 year old girl who's DTF, is nothing short of totally demoralizing. These "predators" who took n'syncs "digital digital get down" a little too seriously are not hardened criminals. They're not masterminds or thugs or aggressive or violent even in the slightest. They're fucking pussies.
I'm not saying that what they're doing isn't totally criminal or disgusting, because it is.
But this is a crime we have brought upon ourselves.
Somewhere out there, there are real 13 year old girls who are really having sex with 40 year old men they met online.
What the hell kind of lives do these girls have? Perhaps instead of focusing on cleaning up the ashes we should first put out the fire.
In a perfect world that would be a beautiful metaphor, but unfortunately there are no laws about instilling sound morals in your children. But there should be.